luv thyself series - prompt #10

gooooodmorning voizies! (or afternoon, night, depending on when you read). been a creatively busy weekend, and i need to recharge. i have got to start sleeping earlier because ya girl's energy is not where it should be. gotta get away from the screens at night. well, hope you all are well & let's see what today's prompt is.

link to prompts: https://selflovecircle.co.uk/self-love-journal-prompts/

prompt #10: how do you show yourself love?

not going to lie, i feel like this one is kind of similar to the last one (if you haven't checked that one out, you should click here). so, i'll try my best here, but i don't know if i can come up with much.

to be quite frank, i don't exactly show myself love that often? that sounds bad, and it probably is, but showing myself love doesn't happen very often. these prompts are more for practice and reflection, which are all good things in the process of self-love. however, i don't know if i actually do things that say "hey helen, this is because i love you," or "because i love myself, i'm giving/showing myself this." other than what i've previously listed (singing, skincare, nails, running this blog, etc.), i can't think of how i show myself love. maybe it's how the prompt is worded, and i can't understand? or maybe i'm actually that bad at showing myself love that i don't get the question 😅 i guess one thing i do is that, after i spend my day working or stressing, i try to say to myself, "hey you can chill for a little now," or "yes, go watch that thing you wanted to watch." i'm trying to actually enjoy my down-time instead of telling myself that i'm being unproductive.

i think a big reason why i can't answer this question as well though is because i still haven't dissociated my self-worth with my productivity/success, and THAT... sucks. i am at a place where i am not very happy with how much i do for my future, and though it may sound like an easy fix, it's not to me. "just get up and do it," "just choose something and run with it," "well, then stop wasting time," "start doing more," "research," "your self worth has nothing to do with your productivity." HUNNY. i've told myself allll of that and still manage to fall short of what i expect myself to do and what i equate my self value to. i fully hold myself accountable for me not putting in the work i think i should to be successful. yes. and i also don't know how to break those habits and find the motivation. i don't know if this is a personality or a mental health thing, but i find it difficult to get up sometimes. i find it difficult to want to do things, even the things i like. i find it difficult to face reality and sit down with my thoughts. i find it difficult to even find the reason as to why i should keep going at all. so, that shows in my productivity. in poetic terms, it feels like there is this constant fog that hovers in my head, and sometimes i manage to find sun rays through it, but it never goes away. i've tried lots of things to help me find motivation, and some work for a little while, but they all eventually wear out. i will continue to try, of course, but this is probably why i don't show myself love as much as i should: because i don't think i deserve it until i get my life to where i want it to be (and even then, ya girl doesn't know exactly WHAT it is that she wants it to look like). i will say a part of that mindset is due to what society has established as worthy of self love. you have to look a certain way, be at a certain place, have a certain amount of money, etc. for you to be considered worthy. that's wrong. i know it is, and i want to work towards eliminating that mindset.

okay, so this post got a bit depressing. sorry! it is however true, and though this prompt is not answered, it definitely made me realize i need to be able to answer it. i need to show myself love. this response was not perfect, but it was a wake up call. and for once, instead of asking you guys to just comment for interaction, i am asking you to comment because i need your help. i don't know much about showing myself love. i am not good at dissociating my worth from my productivity/success. do you do the same? have you gone through this? how do you show yourself love, and how do you do it without involving your productivity/career in it? please comment because i need all the help i can get. thank you again for reading voizies 🤍 more content coming soon!